by Matt Snyders

Last week, the state House's Ways and Means Committee, by a 13-4 vote, passed a bill that would allow chronically ill patients to use marijuana. It now moves to the House floor, leaving some wondering: Will it weather the fucktard vote?

Minnesota's fucktard demographic - though less vocal than in other states - remains a critical voting bloc. Comprised chiefly of law-and-order types, anti-science yokels, and perpetually nervous Caucasians, Minnesota's fucktard coalition has lobbied hard against the bill. An alliance of law enforcement associations has sent emails to legislators informing them that, as one fucktard put it, "our political action committees will be taking this into account when we deliver our endorsements."

Having already passed the Senate last session thanks to bipartisan support, the bill would go directly to Gov. Tim Pawlenty's desk upon passage in the House. Since the Republican VP slot requires vigilant fucktard-pandering on a national scale, Pawlenty has indicated he will veto the legislation.